Monthly Archives: October 2013

Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 9 Results


Ouch, what a bad week for the dog. After rolling to two straight wins, Hartley stumbled last week and absolutely collapsed this week, going a year-worse 1-4. True, I didn’t do much better, but at least I beat the dog and helped the Humans tie up the overall score. To recap the week…


Furman vs. LSU (-47) 


After a shaky first half, the spread of this game was never in doubt. A sure-thing LSU victory, though, was in question, but the Tigers got their shit together in the third and fourth quarters to win 48-16. Still, a 32-point win is nothing near the 47 points LSU needed to cover.

Furman was my “Bet the Farm” pick, and again, I continue to do well with these picks. Katie also picked Furman and was correct, while Hartley went with LSU and lost.


Tennessee vs. Alabama (-28)


Tennessee had been good at beating the spread this year, even if the Vols fail to win most of those games. Sadly for me, Tennessee didn’t even show up against Alabama and lost 45-10. Katie and Hartley took Bama while I lost with my Tennessee pick.


UCLA vs. Oregon (-22.5)


I was sweating this one as Oregon only led UCLA 21-14 after three quarters. Thankfully, Heisman hopeful Marcus Mariota decided to put the game away in the fourth quarter and the Ducks won 42-14 and covered the spread. I won, while Katie and Harley lost with UCLA picks.


Penn State vs. Ohio State (-14.5)


I could not have been more wrong with this game. I thought Penn State had a legitimate shot at knocking off Ohio State after the Nittany Lions’ upset of Michigan. Oops.

The Buckeyes took a 42-7 lead at halftime and handed Penn State its worse loss since 1899 with a 63-14 final. Katie was the only one to pick Ohio State.


Texas Tech vs. Oklahoma (-7)


In the best game of the weekend, Oklahoma escaped a back-and-forth game with Texas Tech to win 38-30 and cover the spread. Again, Katie was the only one to pick this game correct.


As previously stated, Hartley finished 1-4 (20%) for the week. I went 2-3 and Katie went 4-1 to give the Humans a 6-4 (60%) record. The Humans dominate this week and tie the overall record 4 ½ to 4 ½.

Week 10 will feature some ho-hum games, but hopefully betting against the spread will make it more interesting. We’ll see.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 9 — Underdog Edition

So much is going wrong for me with these against the spread picks this season that I’ve become the underdog in the family. Yes, I’m more of an underdog with my picks than the acutal damn dog.

With that in mind, it’s time for me to embrace that role and go with the dogs this week. It’s a bold move, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.


Furman vs. LSU (-47) 


Brian: There is a lot of negativity surrounding the LSU football team these days after a disappointing last-second loss to Ole Miss last week. The betfarmTigers carry some of that upset-loss hangover into this week against Furman and get off to a slow start. While big second and third quarters will put the game out of reach, expect Les Miles to pull some starters for rest as LSU travels to Tuscaloosa in two weeks for the annual epic battle. LSU wins big but Furman beats the spread. “Bet the Farm” on this one.

Katie: Just call me NegaKatie. I’m going with Furman. No way LSU scores nearly 50 more points than the other team, at least not until we prove we can stop a team when it’s 3rd and 15 and the game is on the line. No, I’m not bitter at all. Not one bit.


Photo Oct 25, 7 58 14 AM

Wow, Hartley is the only one to pick LSU. These are dark days, indeed.


Tennessee vs. Alabama (-28)


Brian: Speaking of Alabama… I am torn with this game. Tennessee won last week against South Carolina (its first win against a ranked team in years), so will the Vols carry the momentum into Tuscaloosa and hand with the Tide, or will the win result in an already content Tennessee team to fold. I’m going with the former, and I expect Alabama to be looking ahead to its Nov. 9 showdown with LSU. Alabama wins easily, but the Vols cover.

Katie: Bama. It’s at home, and UT can’t even sell out its allotment of tickets. Which is annoying, considering this game is pretty much holding the schedule hostage for the rest of the SEC. Ugh. If the fans aren’t hyped for this game, how can the team be?


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UCLA vs. Oregon (-22.5)


Brian: 22.5 points is a lot against a team that was ranked in the top 10 just one week ago. UCLA lost to Stanford, but the Bruins hung with Cardinal for three of the four quarters. And Oregon did struggle in the first half last week against Washington State. Still, I am on the Marcus Mariota bandwagon (which means he’ll probably break both of his legs this week. Sorry, Kristen) and I’m going with Oregon. Quack Quack.

Katie:  UCLA. I don’t think they’re going to win this one, but they’re good and are going to keep it close.


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Penn State vs. Ohio State (-14.5)


Brian: Penn State brought respect back to a disheveled football program two weeks ago with a triple overtime win against Michigan. Now, the Nittany Lions face the Big 10’s other darling team in the Buckeyes. I know Ohio State is good, but I still don’t trust them. Penn State will beat the spread, and I give the Nittany Lions a good chance of back-to-back upsets.

Katie: Ohio State. If for no other reason than I need to pick a team to cheer for to beat Bama in the national championship game.


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Texas Tech vs. Oklahoma (-7)


Brian: “Big Game” Bob Stoops still has the sting of the embarrassing pounding against Texas two weeks ago, while Texas Tech’s head coach Ryan Gosling Kliff Kinsbury has Red Raider nation and female football fans across the nation excited. Looks aside, Stoops will fold again and will be swept by the state of Texas in 2013.

Katie:  Oklahoma. The Texas Tech coach is only 5 years older than I am. I’m going with the team that’s coached by a grownup, even if it is Bob Stoops.


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To recap:


Brian          Furman          Tennessee       Oregon       Penn State      Texas Tech
Katie          Furman           Alabama          UCLA          Ohio  State      Oklahoma
Hartley     LSU                  Alabama          UCLA          Penn State      Texas Tech


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Hartley vs. the Humans: Week 8 Results (I Suck at This)


Another week of picks, another disaster for me. Notice a trend, anyone?

I hope you all enjoy my writing more than my picks, because no one is liking my picks, no even me.


LSU lost on a last-second field goal, but after the Tigers fell behind 10-0 early, it was never in doubt that Ole Miss would beat the spread. The dog, again, was the only one to pick against LSU, and he takes an early lead.


Wanna know how bad everyone was this week? All three of us picked Clemson to cover, but that, again, was never in doubt as the Seminoles crushed Clemson 51-14. No points for anyone on this game.


Finally, a game we all got right. Nobody trusted Johnny Manziel last week, and after the Heisman winner left temporary with a shoulder injury, this line, again, was never in doubt. Auburn was able to get a late stop and take the win, and the Tigers covered easily. By the way, Auburn is the only Tiger team to cover or beat the spread this week.


This was my “Bet the Farm” pick of the week, and I’m happy to say that I got this right after last week’s “Bet the Farm” on Oklahoma over Texas pick. The game was 3-0 at halftime, but Stanford jumped out in the third quarter and held on to cover the spread. Katie and I were right, but Hartley’s trust in the Bruins cost him.


Looking bad, I should have never bet against the awesome blue bull logo of Buffalo. I went with UMass and got crushed 32-3. Hartley also went UMass and lost while Katie correctly picked Buffalo.

For the week, I failed to break .500 again (sigh) and went 2-3 while Katie’s 3-2 record propelled the Humans to 5-5 (50%). Hartley went 2-3 for the week (40%) and his two week winning streak came to an end. He does, however, hold the overall lead 4.5-3.5.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 8


Now that the government is back to work, it’s time for me and my picks to get back to get back to work. I’m blaming the previous two weeks of poor picking on the government shutdown breaking my focus and handcuffing my picks. It sounds good, right?

But no more excuses. I expect a 5-0 week this week, so let’s do this!


LSU (-9) vs Ole Miss


Brian: Ole Miss came so close to beating Texas A&M last week, but Johnny Manziel rallied and led the Aggies to 10 late points and an A&M win. Ole Miss can use that game as a motivator going into this game or they could be absolutely crushed by it. I’m going with the latter. LSU wins by 14.

Katie: LSU.  That’s all I can say after my excessive truth telling (i.e. shit talking) about Ole Miss this season.  Ole Miss’ only hope is that the football gods smite me to help them beat LSU.


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You’re treading on thin ice, dog!


Florida State (-3) vs Clemson


Brian: This is the ACC version of the Game of the Century, which is cute considering the winner of this game will still lose to a team it has no business losing to. This is called “Clemsoning,” and I’m going to pick Clemson in this game so the Tigers can eventually lose later this season and fulfill their destiny.

Katie: I’m going with Clemson.  Personal experience tells me to not put my trust in Jimbo Fisher’s offense, even (especially?) when it’s run by a freshman phenom.  There’s a reason Nick Saban didn’t bring that man with him when he abandoned LSU for the NFL.


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Clemson sweep!


Auburn vs Texas A&M (-13.5)


Brian: Auburn has looked good these past couple of weeks, beating Ole Miss and crushing Western Carolina. Auburn beat Ole Miss by 8, whereas A&M defeated the Rebels by just 3. Advantage Auburn. The Tigers won’t win, but they’ll cover.

Katie: I think Auburn has a chance this week, at least to beat the spread, so War Damn Eagle.  Last week Auburn had about as much of a bye week as a team with game could have, while TAMU played an SEC school, even if it was just Ole Miss (Ok ok, I’m done!).  I think 2 weeks to prepare for Johnny Football should at least make this game closer than 2 touchdowns.


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Auburn sweep!


UCLA vs Stanford (-5.5)


betfarmBrian: Stanford’s upset loss to Utah last week basically ended the Cardinal’s national championship hopes and embarrassed them and the PAC-12. UCLA comes into Palo Alto undefeated and ranked in the top-10, but Stanford will be looking to win back some respect. Cardinal cover. “Bet the Farm.”

Katie: While looking up records for this game, I realized how little I care/know about the Pac-12.  That said, I’m going with Stanford at home, because I don’t want UCLA to have a good football season after stealing the baseball title away from more deserving teams (cough…LSU…cough).


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Massachusetts vs Buffalo (-21)


Brian: There weren’t any other good games worth betting this week, so I wanted to have some fun with some MACtion as Buffalo hosts UMass. Knowing nothing about these two teams, I’m going to pick Massachusetts to beat the spread because after last week’s New England game, I’m convinced Boston-area teams have a lucky horse shoe shoved up their collective asses somehow.

Katie: Massachusetts has yet to score more than 17 points, while Buffalo tends to score a lot.  I’m going to go with Buffalo to beat the spread and end UMass’ 1-game winning streak.


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To recap:

Brian         LSU            Clemson       Auburn         Stanford        UMass
Katie         LSU            Clemson       Auburn         Stanford        Buffalo
Hartley    Ole Miss   Clemson      Auburn         UCLA               UMass

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 7 Recap


It looks like my birthday wasn’t a good enough reason for college football to reward me with some correct picks. Again, I failed to break .500 this week, and I’m starting to question whether I truly know anything about college football.

Hartley, on the other hand, continues to roll. And remember, HE IS A DOG!

To recap:


LSU (-7) vs Florida


LSU won this pretty handily 17-6. Some might even compare LSU to the hammer and Florida to the nail, but let’s not anger the beast with that. Katie and I both went LSU, as we are prone to do, while Hartley went Florida and lost. So far the humans are up, but that won’t last.


Missouri vs Georgia (-8)


Poor Georgia. They thought this was their year. They were five yard short of making the BCS title game last year and had high hopes that they would be there this year. That is, until every player on offense tore their ACLs.

Aaron Murray could only do so much as the Bulldogs got trounced by Missouri 41-26 and saw their BCS hopes carted off at Sanford Stadium. Hartley and I picked this one correctly, but Katie’s blind love of Mark Richt kept her on the losing side.


South Carolina (-6) vs Arkansas


Yikes, I got this one very wrong. I thought the Clowney drama would distract South Carolina, but the Gamecocks rattled off 52 straight points en route to a 52-7 win. Arkansas has now lost four games in a row, which I’m not that sad over, so maybe I should learn to avoid the Razorbacks for now.

Hartley and I missed this one, but Katie picked correctly.


Oregon (-13.5) vs Washington


Katie and I both picked Washington, and we, again, were both way wrong. The game was close for a while, and it looked like we might have a shot at this pick, but two fourth quarter Oregon touchdowns gave the Ducks a 45-24 win. Hartley was the only one to pick Oregon, much to the delight of Briantologist Kristen.

 Hartley knew what was up with the Oregon pick. #QuackQuackQuack

Nicely done.


Oklahoma (-13.5) vs Texas


God, I thought this would be an easy pick, but Big Game Bob Stoops showed once again why you can never have faith in Oklahoma. Texas, with its lame duck coach, dominated the game to win 36-20. I made this my “Bet the Farm” pick, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Katie, too, dropped this pick.

Only Hartley was bold enough to have faith in the Burnt Orange and go Texas.


For the week, Katie and I both went 2-3 for a combined 4-6, or 40 percent. Hartley, though, went 3-2 for 60 percent and a Week 7 win. That gives Hartley two consecutive winning weeks and a commanding 4.5-2.5 lead over the Humans. Damn.

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