Monthly Archives: May 2011

OMG! You’re back!

So this week it’s been me and the dog. With half of my readership away in Louisiana, me and Hartley …


… have had a bachelors’ week. Just doing guy stuff, like lines of coke of dead hookers. Ya know how it goes.

But the best is the welcome I’ve gotten when I get home.

Hartley, I'm home!

Let me preface it by saying he’s always excited when I come home, tail wagging, tongue out excited. Like this…


But with me being the only human here this week, his excitement has multiplied by 1000. Now, when I step inside it’s like this…

It's really you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And not a dream!!!!!!!!

And then the crazy starts. Once he realizes he isn’t sleeping, he goes into stupid mode…

Like woah!!!

… and brings me various toys and other things he worked on during the day …

Well, that's sweet!

But it doesn’t end there. It soon turns into the excitement of a Mardi Gras parade …

dun dun dun dun dun dun dun ... HEY!

Or a Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. Complete with balloons …

I told you he made stuff during the day. He's the Martha Stewart of dogs. It's a good thing.

And after flattering me for a few minutes, he shows the real reason why he’s happy to see me. It’s not so much me as it is nature calling …

May I use the loo, good sir?

Ah well. I feel important for those first few minutes. The next few minutes, however, I feel less honored and more like a piece of, well, you get the picture …

Privacy would be nice!

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Filed under Hartley

Still here … DAMNIT!

So the “rapture” came and went, I guess. I’m still here. Are my followers still here? Both of them? Katie? (here) Kristen (here). Phew, that’s good.

How did I spend rapture day? Watching Jack Bauer commit rapture on terrorist asses!

I make Chuck Norris cry!

I may be more than a year late on this season, but “24” is my guilty pleasure. Everyone is a mole, no one can be trusted, an average of 4 people die each episode and about 8 races and nationalities are insulted each season (damn Muslims, Russians, Mexicans, Ukranians and Americans this season).

Plus the 5 congruent storylines help keep my wandering attention on the show.

What's wrong with Jack? Why is she crying up there? Who the crap is he and why's he bleeding? He must be a bad guy. And why is she giving the bad guy her bedroom eyes? Ahhhh!!!

Plus the No. 3 reason I love this show … President Charles Logan! A mix between an unfaithful Bill Clinton, a paranoid George W. Bush with the looks of Richard Nixon, I would vote for this guy every single time.

I've been arrested for treason yet I still make appearances in 5 seasons. I'm that good.

So, “24,” I thank you for your 7 nonstop days of asskicking good times. I still have 5 episodes left and I intend to enjoy them all. When they’re over, well …. DAMNIT!

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Filed under TV

Don’t call it a comeback!

All right, I’m back

After taking a few weeks off, I decided it was probably time to resurrect the blog and get back on it. I changed the title because, well, this is better and I changed the host site. Hopefully that will be better too. So to my two followers, allow me to apologize for confusing you with a new site, but thank you for your patience.

I will write something worthwhile soon, I promise. For now, enjoy this awesome piece of music going around my friends’ Facebook feeds.

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It finally happened!!!!

FINALLY! My dream (and on occasion my worst nightmare) has come true!!! What am I talking about? A championship team destroyed their trophy!!!

And to top it all off, it was a soccer team that did it! My laughing at the sport of soccer continues!!!

I’ll back up some. A team called Real Madrid won some fancy soccer title a few days ago. Good for them! That hard work of running and kicking a ball and not using their hands and falling down on a gust of wind finally paid off. This is a pic of them winning and the trophy…

So cute with the little ribbons! So last night the team had a victory parade in Madrid.

We winna de cup! A yay for us
And what happened next? The idiots DROPPED the trophy off the bus!!!!!!!!!! And the best part, the bus driver RAN OVER the damn thing!!!!!
A dios mio! Our pobre cup!
Here’s a link to the actual story for those who want to learn more about it than what I supplied:
So why am I so happy about this? Because for years the college football trophy is a big glass football that is passed around by happy dumb college football players, and every time I wish for it to be dropped on the stage (except when LSU wins, of course)
Drop it, you cheating asshole!

Drop it and die on the shards of glass!

Drop it then use your magic powers to rebuild it!

Hold on to it tight, please. I love you!

I would say drop it, but you already quit. HAHA

Drop it, you dumb asshole!
I have nothing to say because I hate you so much!
No dropping please!! You were so awesome!! What happened??

(Note the absence of UGA championship pics here. HAHAHAHA)
So here’s to more trophies being dropped. The Stanley Cup can take it, the Lombardi trophy can take it, the NBA trophy can take but I hope that ugly ass baseball trophy is the next to go…

… unless the Cubs win it.

Love, Brian

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Filed under LSU, Sports

You’re Invited! (Well, maybe not YOU reading this post, but others are invited!)


So this weekend Katie and I finally got our wedding invitations done. After a lot of stress and prodding and questions and advice and unsolicited opinions — I should stop — we finally got them done. No, you cannot see them now, idiot. Just wait.

Now this has been a project for a while, and I’ve  scoured the Internet looking at other invites, so I wanted to share some of the awesome, horrible and bad-ass invites I’ve seen these past few months.

This one makes me mad. I hope it’s a joke, but the message board I got it from says it isn’t, which pisses me off so much. Really, Twilight people? REALLY!?!? You people are stupid. I hope this marriage ends in divorce, which I’m sure it will soon if the two are this dumb.

This one apparently has made the rounds judging by how many times I’ve seen it, but if you haven’t seen it before, it’s funny. I like it, you should like it too.

But the most bad-ass one I’ve seen goes to …

How cool is that?!? I question why anyone would only invite zombies to their wedding, but whatever. It’s pretty sweet and judging by how many times I’ve seen it, has been passed around a lot.

I said that was the most bad-ass wedding invite I found, but this is the most bad-ass one never before published, until now. I made this one with hopes it would be Katie and mine. It isn’t 😦 but that only means you can see it!

I think it’s classy and elegant. But maybe that’s just me.

Love, Brian

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Filed under Katie, Photoshop