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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 14 — Rivalry Week!

HvHTrophies13

Welcome to the penultimate week of the college football season! With the Humans ahead by one after a Week 12 tie – the dog went 2-3 last week (40 percent) while I went 3-2 and Katie went 1-4 to put the Humans at 4-6 (40 percent) – Hartley is in do-or-die time if he wants to win the season series.

It’s rivalry week this week, which means heated games between hated rivals, close affairs that hopefully come down to the wire and awful, terrible, ugly trophies for the winners. Boots, Eggs, Bells, Platypi, Iron and Palmetto. This week has it all! So let’s get started.

As always, the point spreads are courtesy of 5Dimes

Arkansas vs. LSU (-24.5)

ArkansasLSU

Brian: Yikes! LSU wins one game, and now they’re a 24.5 point favorite against Arkansas? This isn’t just a normal game, Vegas. This is the IOLPJOEELYXRTZI.20121124042024battle for the Boot! This is for all the glory of one of the SEC’s most historic forced rivalries. The winner of this game gets the Golden Boot, a 4-foot tall gold outline of Louisiana and Arkansas that weighs about 70 pounds from what I hear. It’s ugly, it’s hideous, and one day it will impale a player on the sidelines.
This year, it’ll be an LSU player. LSU probably will still be patting themselves on the back from the Texas A&M game and may come out slow, but Arkansas is pure garbage, so I’ll take LSU in this one.

Katie:  LSU. 24.5 points is a ton, but so what? It’s the end of the season, I’m going with LSU.

Hartley: Photo Nov 26, 10 40 05 PM

Dog still for sale.

 

Alabama (-10.5) vs. Auburn

BamaAuburn

Brian: After LSU lost, I put my BCS title hopes on Oregon. Then they lost, and I threw my support to Baylor. Sorry, Bears. So now it’s Roll Tide Roll time! Reasons why everyone should love Alabama:

  1. They play “Look Down” on third down stops.
  2. A.J. McCarron chest tattoo?

That’s it, that’s the list. Still, maybe my cursed support will work. Roll Damn Tide
(I legitimately love the “Look Down” song, and it really is the only thing I like about Alabama)

Katie:  I will not get my hopes up. I will not get my hopes up.  I will not get my hopes up.  (Alabama)

Hartley:

Photo Nov 26, 10 38 08 PM

War Dog Eagle!

 

Michigan vs. Ohio State (-14.5)

MichiganOhioSt

Brian: The Big Ten has a million stupid trophies for all of its so-called rivalries. The Land of Lincoln Trophy, Purdue Cannon (sadly not a real cannon), Old Brass Spittoon, Floyd of Rosedale, Heroes Trophy (boring), Heartland Trophy, Land Grant Trophy, Paul Bunyan Trophy, Little Brown Jug, Governor’s Victory Bell and Paul Bunyan’s Axe (legitimately cool) are some of the highly contested prizes in the conference, but oddly, the Big Ten’s biggest rivalry game doesn’t have a stupid little trophy. Sad face! Get your shit together, Ohio/Michigan marketers!
As for the game, Ohio State NEEDS a big win bad. The Buckeyes’ last hope is an Alabama upset and for Jameis Winston to go to prison and then MAYBE it goes to the BCS title game. But forget about that football crap, have you seen the Buckeye’s band?!? For the T-Rex alone, I’ll go with Ohio State

Katie:  SEC coach, Big 10 talent. It’s time for Ohio State to blow it. I’m going with Michigan.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 26, 10 39 17 PM

Clemson vs. South Carolina (-5)

USCClemson

palmettobowlBrian: The Palmetto Bowl, sadly, does not have an actual trophy to hand out to the winner. May I suggest taking the sad Magnolia Bowl and plopping a tree on there? Ole Miss already broke the damn thing this year, so your work is halfway done, guys.
How great would it be to have Clemson begin and end the season by beating the preseason favorites to win the SEC East? That would be fantastic for the other Tigers, but I don’t see it happening. South Carolina needs to keep playing strong and hope to back in to the SEC title game.

Katie:  Guys, I’m going with Clemson with this one. They’ve already pulled a Clemson, so I see no reason why they’d lose this one.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 26, 10 38 40 PM

Georgia (-3.5) vs. Georgia Tech

GaTechGeorgia

christian-robinson-tweetBrian: Some people (below) might feel sorry for Georgia and its fan base with the way this season has gone for them. Those people are nicer than I am. Hey, Georgia fans, screw you! You deserve to lose your starting quarterback! For four years you bitched and moaned when he threw an incomplete pass or an interception and never gave him proper credit when he actually won. Now that he’s done and will never wear red and black again, you act like you lost your best friend and son. Nope, doesn’t work that way. (Note, I did not say Aaron Murray deserves it because he is a respectable player. But the fan base deserves this season and this insult to injury.)
Now that my tangent is over, I expect Georgia Tech to see what the football gods have given them with these Georgia injuries and take advantage of it. This is your chance, Paul Johnson! Jackets beat the spread.

Katie:  I really hate what’s happened to UGA this year. Yeah, their fans can be bandwagony and annoying, and their coach is a crier, but losing Aaron Murray just doesn’t seem fair. If this were September, UGA would beat GA Tech by 50. Unfortunately for UGA, it isn’t, and they’re probably going to lose to an OK GA Tech team.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 26, 10 37 33 PM

Texas A&M vs. Missouri (-4.5)

AMMizzou

YellLeaderBrian: What the hell, Texas A&M? What the hell was that? No, I’m not talking about Johnny Manziel’s performance on Saturday against LSU, I’m talking about your grumpy fans and jazz-handsy cheer boys. This is the SEC. Tell your fans that if they don’t like something when visiting another school, punch an opposing fan and throw pee balloons in their face. Don’t passive aggressively complain to your Aggie brethren in a voice you know if just loud enough to be heard by opposing fans around you. You know who you are, guys in section 221, row 23, seats ~12-15.
Again, sorry for the tangent. Missouri needs to beat A&M to get into the SEC title game, while Manziel will phone it win with his Heisman chances taken away.

Katie:  I still cannot and will not get on the Mizzou train. Sure, TAMU has weird fans and even weirder dances (seriously, guys? Jazz hands and Pirouettes??). But Johnny Football needs to redeem himself in time for the draft, and Sumlin needs a big win to get the USC job. So I’m going to go with TAMU here to prematurely end Mizzou’s title hopes (which would end anyway when they play Bama in 2 weeks).

Hartley:

Photo Nov 26, 10 40 59 PM

ULM vs. ULL (-14.5)

ULLulm

ConTrophyBrian: If LSU/Arkansas is the battle for the Boot, UL Monroe vs. UL Lafayette is the battle for the Converse (Marketing genius at work here). After dropping its first two games of the season, UL Lafayette is riding an 8-game win streak while the University of Louisiana Monroe has lost two straight. I say UL Lafayette covers against the University of Louisiana Monroe but it still won’t be enough to get them out of their third straight New Orleans Bowl.

Katie:  The only time I will every cheer for Lafayette is if they play Bama. They are not playing Bama.  Therefore, I’m going with ULM.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 26, 10 37 00 PM

Brian       LSU      Bama      Ohio St      S. Carolina      Ga. Tech      Missouri          ULM
Katie       LSU      Bama      Michigan   Clemson          Ga. Tech      Texas A&M    ULL
Hartley  Ark.      Auburn  Ohio St      S. Carolina     Ga. Tech      Missouri           ULL

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 13

HvHTrophies12

With three weeks remaining in the college football season, Hartley vs. the Humans will all come down to big games and tight point spreads.

With my recent resurgence, the Humans have won two straight weeks and now have a 1-point lead over Hartley. I would “Bet the Farm” that he stages a comeback, though, so this is a big week for everyone involved.

As always, the point spreads – and this week the over/under line – is courtesy of 5Dimes.

 

LSU (-4.5) vs. Texas A&M

LSUAM

Brian: As an LSU fan, this game scares the crap out of me. Will the defense, which got shredded in the second half against a good but not very explosive Alabama offense, stop Johnny Manziel? Probably not, but I’m going with blind fan optimism here and picking LSU. **Gulp**

Katie: I’ll admit that I’m pleasantly surprised that the Vegas people have LSU as the favorite in this game. I wasn’t expecting that, and it makes me dread Saturday’s cold, rainy game just a little bit less. I’m just going to hope the defense from the UF game and the offense from the UGA game come to play for LSU. I’m going with LSU to beat the spread out of blind, idiot loyalty. Also, Johnny Manziel makes me throat punchy, and I really, really want to see him lose and lose badly.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 22, 8 36 07 AM

For sale: One back-stabbing dog!

 

LSU vs. Texas A&M Over/Under: 71 points

LSUAMOU

betfarmBrian: As I said before, I’m concerned about LSU’s suspect defense. A&M, as everyone knows, doesn’t have a good defense, so a 38-35 game is extremely likely. The only thing that could stop it is the weather, which is supposed to dump a good bit of rain on Baton Rouge come game time. Still, it rained for the LSU/Auburn game, and that game had 56 points. I’m taking the over and making this my “Bet the Farm” pick of the week.

Katie: Neither defense is good this year, with both teams only keeping the opponent under 10 once this season. I’m saying over all the way.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 22, 8 37 37 AM

 

Missouri (-2.5) vs. Ole Miss

OleMissMissouri

Brian: Ole Miss has been a pesky team this year. The Rebels have upset wins over Texas and recently against LSU, so this team knows how to beat the giants. But it’s simple for Missouri: Win and it’s in Atlanta for the SEC Championship. The Tigers need to win one of their final two games to take the SEC East, but with Missouri’s final game against Texas A&M, I think it needs to beat Ole Miss to guarantee its spot in Atlanta. I’m taking Missouri, but I’m worried about this pick.

Katie: I’m picking Ole Miss! Miracles really do happen! The introduction of Johnny Football to the SEC West came with the extra baggage of Missouri to the SEC East. I’m ready for these pretenders to go away and let the real SEC win.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 22, 8 36 34 AM

Baylor (-9.5) vs. Oklahoma State

baylorOKSTATE

Brian: This game is most likely the last obstacle Baylor faces for an undefeated season. After Oklahoma State, the Bears play a bad TCU team and a down Texas team, so all it needs is a win against the No. 10 team in the nation to stay perfect and possibly play for a national championship. It’ll be an offensive explosion (even with Baylor’s injured offense) and I think in the end Baylor will leave Stillwater with a perfect record and having covered the spread.

Katie: Baylor scores a lot. I’m going with them.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 22, 8 35 34 AM

(This looks like Hartley picked Baylor, but that’s not the case. He actually grabbed the Oklahoma State treat before I could take the picture. He then went to the Baylor photo and grabbed that treat. Notice how there is no treat on Oklahoma State and a treat on Baylor. That’s conclusive video evidence. The call on the field stands.)

 

Vanderbilt vs. Tennessee (-2.5)

TennesseeVANDY

Brian: Vanderbilt is bowl eligible and is riding a two-game winning streak heading into Neyland Stadium. Tennessee has gotten blown out in three straight games, albeit those games were against Alabama, Missouri and Auburn. The Vols can become bowl eligible with a win over the Dores and a win next week against Kentucky (likely to happen). But I can’t even name Tennessee’s starting quarterback because it changes every week, so I’m taking Vanderbilt to upset Tennessee.

Katie: I think these teams are pretty equal, and apparently so does Vegas. It makes me chuckle knowing that Vandy already is bowl eligible and Tennessee isn’t.  I’m going with Tennessee for this game.  They need the win more to have a chance at being bowl eligible and to prevent their coach from being fired. Also, the Vanderbilt football team has had a lot of outside distractions this week. 

Hartley:

Photo Nov 22, 8 37 04 AM

 

And to recap:

Brian         LSU          Over          Missouri          Baylor          Vandy
Katie          LSU          Over          Ole Miss           Baylor          Tennessee
Hartley    A&M        Over          Ole Miss           Okla. St.       Vandy

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 12 Results — Humans on Top!

HvHTrophies12

For the first time this season, the Humans have seized control over the dog and have taken the overall lead in the year-long Hartley vs. the Humans battle. That’s thanks to another above .500 effort by me and Katie’s week that was just good enough to keep the Humans on top. To recap:

Georgia at Auburn (-4)

UGAAub

All of us picked Auburn to win and cover the spread, and with a minute left in the game, it didn’t look good for any of us. That is, until Auburn connected for the second coming of the Bluegrass Miracle:

People have called this The Prayer at Jordan-Hare or the Immaculate Deflection. Whatever you call it, that pass perfectly sums up Georgia’s season. Let’s all pray Auburn can continue the momentum through it’s next game – a battle with Alabama on Nov. 30.

 

Florida at South Carolina (-13.5)

FloridaUSC

This was my “Bet the Farm” pick, and sadly, I lost the farm. Hopefully you didn’t follow my advice and you got to keep yours.

Florida led for more of the game, but South Carolina eventually clawed back and won 19-14. Still, the Gators beat the spread. I picked South Carolina, but Hartley and Katie both took Florida and got the win.

 

Oklahoma State (-3) at Texas

OkStateTexas

This game basically ended in three minutes in the second quarter. Texas scored a touchdown to pull within four points with three minutes left in the half, but then the Cowboys offense rattled off two quick TDs to take a 28-10 halftime lead that deflated Texas. Oklahoma State eventually would cruise to a 25-point win, giving Katie and I the win and Hartley a loss.

 

Stanford (-3.5) at USC

stanfordSC

I generally make these picks on Thursday, and I made my Yahoo college football pick’em picks on Saturday morning. Between Thursday and Saturday, I switched my pick and went with USC in Yahoo. Sadly, it was too late to change it here, and I – along with every other Briantology picker – suffered a loss. Yaw Yaw, Coach O.

 

Miami (-3.5) at Duke

MiamiDuke

If nothing else goes right this season, at least I will always have this pick to put my hat on. I went bold and picked the Blue Devils to beat Miami in football for the first time in the school’s history, and that’s exactly what David Cutcliffe did. Duke scored 48 (48!!!!!!!!!!) points on Miami in the school’s big win. I was the only one to pick the Blue Devils and got my third correct pick of the week.

SIDENOTE: Former Ole Miss coaches David Cutcliffe and Ed Orgeron both got giant wins over this weekend while the Rebels are ranked in the top 25. It’s getting scary out there, folks.

For the week, I went 3-2 (two straight, baby) while Katie went 2-3 to give the Humans a 5-5 (50 percent) record. Hartley went 2-3 (40 percent), giving the Humans the Week 12 win. Katie and I are up 6.5-5.5 on the dog, with three more weeks to go.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 11 Results — Sad Face Edition

HvHTrophies11

Week 11 was not kind to Briantology pickers and their teams. Everyone knows about LSU and Alabama, so let’s not dwell on that lest I might cry and/or punch my computer.

To pour salt in the wounds, the picks were not up to Briantology’s normal standards. Only one picker went above .500 in the absolute dismal week. To recap…

LSU vs. Alabama (-12.5)

AlabamaLSU

Yep, Alabama won by a lot and covered. We all got it wrong. Next.

 

Oregon (-10.5) vs. Stanford

OregonStan

Sadly for a few Briantology readers who are also big Oregon fans, this game was a another disappointment in Week 11. Oregon came out flat for three and a half quarters. Despite a late surge, the Ducks fell short 26-20, ending their BCS title hopes. Why this brings so much glee to fans in SEC territory is beyond me, but I don’t give much intellectual credit to SEC fans, this one included.

Hartley was the only one to pick the Cardinal. He has consistently picked against the Ducks all season and he finally got the anti-Oregon call correct.

 

Oklahoma vs. Baylor (-15)

baylorOU

After a sluggish quarter and a half in which Oklahoma led 5-3, Baylor rattled off three touchdowns in seven minutes to basically put the game away by halftime. Baylor’s offense is really, really good, and with LSU and now Oregon out of the title picture, the Bears have surged to my BCS title hopeful.

Katie and I picked correctly, while Hartley went with Bob Stoops and Oklahoma. He apparently does not know about “Big Game” Bob’s reputation, and that came to bite him in the ass.

 

Texas (-6.5) vs. West Virginia

TexasWV

The end of this game was being played during the LSU/Alabama game, so last I saw, the game was a back-and-forth effort and appeared as though West Virginia would beat the spread. It wasn’t until Sunday afternoon when I finally decided to check back to college football that I saw Texas won in overtime by 7 and covered.

All of us picked Texas, so we all got a win with the Longhorns. Hook ‘Em.

 

 Arkansas State vs. ULM (-4.5)

ArkansasStulm

This was another game I didn’t know who won until Sunday. After the LSU game, I turned off college football and instead opted to watch Breaking Bad. Some people cope with their team’s losses by taking drugs. I cope by watching a TV show about people making drugs. Whatever works, right?

To my surprise, Arkansas State crushed ULM 42-14. I was the only one to correctly pick the Red Wolves’ win.

 

Overall for the week, I finished 3-2, my second straight week above Mount .500 after six weeks of sucking. Katie, again for the second straight week, went 2-3 – Perhaps my sucking has transitioned to her – and the Humans finished the week 5-5 (50 percent). Hartley also struggled this week with a 2-3 (40 percent) effort. The Humans win the week and tie the series with just four weeks remaining. It’s going to be close.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 10 Results — Redemption!

HvHTrophies10

It had been six straight weeks since I went above .500 in my against the spread week. A month and a half since I picked more right than wrong choices. That streak is over.

After dragging down the Humans for more than half of the season, I finally made some decent picks and finished above .500 for the first time since Week 3. Celebrate!

What has happened since September 14, my last winning week betting college football? Well, the federal government shut down and then restarted, Healthcare.gov launched and gave three people the opportunity to pick their Obamacare, LSU hadn’t yet to lose to Georgia and Ole Miss and the finale of Breaking Bad had yet to air.

To recap this week’s awesome Brian picks:

 

Miami at Florida State (-22)

MiamiFSU

22 points is a crapload of points for a top-10 matchup, but I put all my faith in the Seminoles, and Famous Jameis Winston did just enough to win 41-14 and cover the spread. Hartley and Katie went with the Canes and lost.

 

Georgia (-2.5) vs. Florida

FLAUGA

This was my “Bet the Farm” pick, and I escaped by the skin of my teeth. Florida rallied with 17 second-half points, but Aaron Murray led a late drive that killed the clock and gave Georgia the 3-point win. Katie and Hartley again lose with their Florida picks.

 

Michigan at Michigan State (-6)

MichMichSt

For all my genius in the previous two picks, I fell hard with this one. I thought Michigan would come out hot and beat down the Spartans. Nope. Michigan State dominated the entire game en route to a 29-6 win. Only Hartley got this pick right.

 

Tulane at Florida Atlantic (-3.5)

TulaneFAU

FAU had no coach, a swell of controversy surrounding it and a bad football team. Still, this is why you shouldn’t bet on Tulane. The Green Wave got hammered 34-17, giving Hartley and Katie the wins and me the loss.

 

Navy at Notre Dame (-16.5)

NDNavy

I was on the fence with this game late in the week but ultimately went with Navy. Boy, am I glad I did. The Midshipmen led late in the game, and while Notre Dame ultimately won 38-34, Navy beat the spread and gave me, Katie and Hartley the win.

Ta-da! 3-2 might not be the most impressive week, but I needed to start somewhere. For the week, Hartley went 3-2 (60 percent), while the Humans, thanks to Katie’s crappy week, went 5-5 (50 percent). Hartley wins the week and regains his overall lead in the competition.

Now, let’s see if I can carry this momentum into next week’s games.

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