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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 15 — For All The Marbles


I’ve been pretty crappy about posting the recaps during the week, and for that I apologize. Hartley won last week with an impressive 4-3 record. The Humans, thanks again to another sub-par effort by Katie, finished 4-10, evening up the overall standings as we head to the final regular season week of college football.

So this is it. It’s Championship weekend, where conference winners, BCS title contenders and Hartley vs. the Humans victors will be decided. This is for bragging rights, folks.

As always, the spreads are courtesy of 5Dimes.


Auburn (-2) vs. Missouri


Brian: Surely Auburn can’t lose to Missouri, right? The Tigers had a miracle answered in two consecutive games with the Hail Mary catch against Georgia (Prayer in Jordan Hare) and the 109-yard field goal miss for touchdown against Alabama (War Damn Miracle). As a fan of rhymes, I like the Prayer in Jordan Hare better myself. Surely a team this blessed can’t fall on its face and lose to Missouri when a shot at a national title is at stake, right?!? Wrong. Missouri – yes, Missouri – the come-from-nowhere team in the SEC East (even though it’s the most western school in the SEC) takes the conference crown and gets a chance to play for the national title if…

Katie: After the last few weeks of truly dismal picking, I’m a little afraid of how bad these picks are going to be this week. So on that note, I’m going with Auburn to beat the spread here. Hopefully by a lot.


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Ohio State (-5.5) vs. Michigan State


Brian: The Buckeyes need to win just one more game and chances are they play for the national title. That one game, though, is against a strong Sparty team at Michigan State. While Ohio State has a 24-game winning streak, it still has yet to beat a top-10 ranked team in that stretch. Michigan State in ranked No. 10. That streak continues. Sparty wins and BCS chaos ensues.

Katie: I’m going to go with Michigan State to beat the spread but Ohio State to win because I really, really want total BCS chaos in the last year before the mini-playoffs start. It’ll be funny if tOSU is held out of the BCS by a one loss SEC team (Auburn), assuming AU wins by a lot.


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Duke vs. Florida State (-29)


Brian: Seminoles, rejoice! Jameis Winston didn’t commit rape!!!! Or, well, he didn’t get charged with rape by a comedic state attorney at the press conference, so who knows what he did or didn’t do. But whatever happened, he’ll play on Saturday for a chance to get him and the Noles in the BCS title game. Florida State has been crushing opponents by 30 points after the first quarter. Surely Duke won’t do anything, right? RIGHT!?!!
I’m taking Duke. I don’t know if the Blue Devils will win (probably not), but they’ll beat the spread, and I’m opening the door for a historic upset.

Katie: That is an embarrassingly huge spread for a conference championship game. Granted, Jameis Winston might need a big win to make Heisman voters forget what he may or may not have done last year. And Duke typically is truly terrible in football. Still, I’m going to go with Duke to beat the spread.


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Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State (-9.5)


Brian: Oklahoma State has a very, VERY long shot at getting into the BCS title game. The Cowboys needs Florida State, Ohio State and Auburn to lose, and then hope a win against Oklahoma will vault them past Alabama and the other new one-loss teams. Sorry, Gundy, you lost to West Virginia. You don’t get any confidence from me. Oklahoma beats the spread.

Katie: I keep forgetting the Big 12 is still a thing. I’m going with Oklahoma here for nostalgia’s sake. Anybody remember when this game would have been important? Teams would have to be deemed ineligible for a Big 12 team (OSU or Baylor) to make it to the BCS championship.


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Stanford vs. Arizona State (-3)


Brian: Oregon didn’t want the Rose Bowl, and so they’re out. Now it’s up to the Cardinal and the Sun Devils to see who will play in the Granddaddy of Them All. Since neither team has any shot at the Crystal Football, I don’t care about this game that much, so Stanford. Why not?

Katie: Stanford usually is better than ASU, so I’m going with the Cardinal here.


Photo Dec 05, 10 02 09 PMBrian: Props to the Pac-12 for the best looking conference championship logo. SEC takes runner-up. In DFL is the ACC. What the hell is that crap?


That’s right. In case Hartley and the Humans tie again this week, we created a tiebreaker to figure out the season winner. It’s simple: Which two teams do you think will play for the BCS title? The Humans get one point per correct team and Hartley gets two per correct pick.

Brian: With Ohio State, Auburn and Oklahoma State – and maybe Florida State (?) – losing, my BCS title game prediction is … Alabama vs. Florida State. Because there’s no justice in the world, Alabama will stay ahead of Missouri and there’s no way the college football gods keep Alabama out of the title game. Sigh…

Katie: Florida State vs. THE Ohio State University

Hartley: With Hartley picking Florida State to cover, he guarantees the Seminoles are in. But which is the other team? Ohio State? Auburn? Missouri? With his picks, all could still be in the running…

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But it’s FSU/Ohio State for the BCS game.

To recap everything:

Brian:         Missouri        Michigan St.       Duke              Oklahoma       Stanford
Katie:          Auburn          Michigan St.        Duke              Oklahoma       Stanford
Hartley:    Missouri        Ohio State            Florida St.   Oklahoma       Arizona St.


Brian: Florida State vs. Alabama
Florida State vs. Ohio State
Hartley: Florida State vs. Ohio State

Savor the final week of college football, everybody!

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 12 Results — Humans on Top!


For the first time this season, the Humans have seized control over the dog and have taken the overall lead in the year-long Hartley vs. the Humans battle. That’s thanks to another above .500 effort by me and Katie’s week that was just good enough to keep the Humans on top. To recap:

Georgia at Auburn (-4)


All of us picked Auburn to win and cover the spread, and with a minute left in the game, it didn’t look good for any of us. That is, until Auburn connected for the second coming of the Bluegrass Miracle:

People have called this The Prayer at Jordan-Hare or the Immaculate Deflection. Whatever you call it, that pass perfectly sums up Georgia’s season. Let’s all pray Auburn can continue the momentum through it’s next game – a battle with Alabama on Nov. 30.


Florida at South Carolina (-13.5)


This was my “Bet the Farm” pick, and sadly, I lost the farm. Hopefully you didn’t follow my advice and you got to keep yours.

Florida led for more of the game, but South Carolina eventually clawed back and won 19-14. Still, the Gators beat the spread. I picked South Carolina, but Hartley and Katie both took Florida and got the win.


Oklahoma State (-3) at Texas


This game basically ended in three minutes in the second quarter. Texas scored a touchdown to pull within four points with three minutes left in the half, but then the Cowboys offense rattled off two quick TDs to take a 28-10 halftime lead that deflated Texas. Oklahoma State eventually would cruise to a 25-point win, giving Katie and I the win and Hartley a loss.


Stanford (-3.5) at USC


I generally make these picks on Thursday, and I made my Yahoo college football pick’em picks on Saturday morning. Between Thursday and Saturday, I switched my pick and went with USC in Yahoo. Sadly, it was too late to change it here, and I – along with every other Briantology picker – suffered a loss. Yaw Yaw, Coach O.


Miami (-3.5) at Duke


If nothing else goes right this season, at least I will always have this pick to put my hat on. I went bold and picked the Blue Devils to beat Miami in football for the first time in the school’s history, and that’s exactly what David Cutcliffe did. Duke scored 48 (48!!!!!!!!!!) points on Miami in the school’s big win. I was the only one to pick the Blue Devils and got my third correct pick of the week.

SIDENOTE: Former Ole Miss coaches David Cutcliffe and Ed Orgeron both got giant wins over this weekend while the Rebels are ranked in the top 25. It’s getting scary out there, folks.

For the week, I went 3-2 (two straight, baby) while Katie went 2-3 to give the Humans a 5-5 (50 percent) record. Hartley went 2-3 (40 percent), giving the Humans the Week 12 win. Katie and I are up 6.5-5.5 on the dog, with three more weeks to go.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 12 — LSU-less Edition


No LSU this weekend means I can relax on Saturday and enjoy college football and it sadly dwindles away. Before you know it, it’ll be February and all football will be gone, leaving us with months of crappy basketball and even crappier Major League Baseball.

But for now, Hartley and the Humans are tied up with each winning five weeks and tying once. These last four weeks will decide the winner, so let’s get to it.

As always, the lines are courtesy of 5Dimes.

Georgia at Auburn (-4)


Brian: This one is tough. Georgia is beat up and can barely field a full offense, but it’s possible Auburn will be looking ahead to its next game, a Nov. 30 tussle with Alabama. With the game at Jordan-Hare, I believe the Tigers will win and cover. Also, how the hell did Georgia make it to the top 25?

Katie: “Bodygetta Bodygetta Bodygetta Bah Rah Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah Weagle Weagle War Damn Eagle Kick em in the butt, Big Blue Hey!”  Yep, that’s a real cheer, folks.  And that’s who I’m going with this week. (Auburn)


Photo Nov 14, 9 32 54 PMSuper Blurry!

Florida at South Carolina (-13.5)


betfarmBrian: Florida coach Will Muschamp got the dreaded “Vote of Approval” from Florida athletic director Jeremy Foley and school president Bernie Machen, so the Gators should be motivated to come out tough against South Carolina. But with the Gamecocks still hanging on to a shot at winning the SEC East, I don’t see Steve Spurrier losing his final conference game of the season to this sorry Florida team. Gamecocks cover, and this is my “Bet the Farm” pick.

Katie: I realize that USC is ranked 11, and that’s good, but they just don’t feel like a great team to me.  I think they’ll probably win, but not by 14, so I’m going with UF here.


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Oklahoma State (-3) at Texas


Brian: Texas has been on a roll recently, but aside from Oklahoma, which we all saw isn’t THAT good of a team last week in its beatdown to Baylor, the Longhorns haven’t played any good team. I put a lot of confidence in Oklahoma State when they got upset by West Virginia, but I’ll give them a second chance and take Okie State and the points.

Katie: I’m going with the team that’s coached by the man, (Brian: This makes me so happy) not the old guy.  Also, wishful thinking makes me want UT to fire Mack Brown this year to get Saban out of the SEC (even if Saban at Texas could be very, very scary).  OK State wins by more than 3.


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Stanford (-3.5) at USC


Brian: Now that Lane Kiffin has been fired and still waiting for a ride back to campus, Southern California is back to its winning ways. Ed Orgeron has the Trojan nation rejoicing once more, and the school announced this week that the LA Colliseum is sold out for the first time this season. Can USC keep winning and upset Stanford? In a word, No. Cardinal win by a touchdown.

Katie: I’m going with Stanford.  I still don’t like USC, and their coach is a buffoon.


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Miami (-3.5) at Duke


Brian: Duke is enjoying another bowl-eligible season, but this matchup in the past has been all Miami. In fact, the Canes have never lost to the Blue Devils, until this week. David Cutcliffe leads his Dookies to a program-changing upset on Saturday.

Katie: The start of basketball season signals the end of football season at Duke.  Miami beats Duke and covers the spread.


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And to recap:

Brian         Auburn         S. Carolina      Oklahoma St.         Stanford          Duke
Katie         Auburn         Florida              Oklahoma St.         Stanford          Miami
Hartley     Auburn         Florida              Texas                        Stanford          Miami

SIDENOTE: Originally, I gave Katie the Clemson/Georgia Tech game, not knowing that it was a Thursday night game. She picked “Clemson has already lost its important game, so I see no reason why they won’t win this one.  Clemson beats the spread. (Which was 10.5)” Clemson won 55-31. While it won’t count in the Hartley vs. The Humans standings, I wanted to give Katie her much deserved accolades.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 11 Results — Sad Face Edition


Week 11 was not kind to Briantology pickers and their teams. Everyone knows about LSU and Alabama, so let’s not dwell on that lest I might cry and/or punch my computer.

To pour salt in the wounds, the picks were not up to Briantology’s normal standards. Only one picker went above .500 in the absolute dismal week. To recap…

LSU vs. Alabama (-12.5)


Yep, Alabama won by a lot and covered. We all got it wrong. Next.


Oregon (-10.5) vs. Stanford


Sadly for a few Briantology readers who are also big Oregon fans, this game was a another disappointment in Week 11. Oregon came out flat for three and a half quarters. Despite a late surge, the Ducks fell short 26-20, ending their BCS title hopes. Why this brings so much glee to fans in SEC territory is beyond me, but I don’t give much intellectual credit to SEC fans, this one included.

Hartley was the only one to pick the Cardinal. He has consistently picked against the Ducks all season and he finally got the anti-Oregon call correct.


Oklahoma vs. Baylor (-15)


After a sluggish quarter and a half in which Oklahoma led 5-3, Baylor rattled off three touchdowns in seven minutes to basically put the game away by halftime. Baylor’s offense is really, really good, and with LSU and now Oregon out of the title picture, the Bears have surged to my BCS title hopeful.

Katie and I picked correctly, while Hartley went with Bob Stoops and Oklahoma. He apparently does not know about “Big Game” Bob’s reputation, and that came to bite him in the ass.


Texas (-6.5) vs. West Virginia


The end of this game was being played during the LSU/Alabama game, so last I saw, the game was a back-and-forth effort and appeared as though West Virginia would beat the spread. It wasn’t until Sunday afternoon when I finally decided to check back to college football that I saw Texas won in overtime by 7 and covered.

All of us picked Texas, so we all got a win with the Longhorns. Hook ‘Em.


 Arkansas State vs. ULM (-4.5)


This was another game I didn’t know who won until Sunday. After the LSU game, I turned off college football and instead opted to watch Breaking Bad. Some people cope with their team’s losses by taking drugs. I cope by watching a TV show about people making drugs. Whatever works, right?

To my surprise, Arkansas State crushed ULM 42-14. I was the only one to correctly pick the Red Wolves’ win.


Overall for the week, I finished 3-2, my second straight week above Mount .500 after six weeks of sucking. Katie, again for the second straight week, went 2-3 – Perhaps my sucking has transitioned to her – and the Humans finished the week 5-5 (50 percent). Hartley also struggled this week with a 2-3 (40 percent) effort. The Humans win the week and tie the series with just four weeks remaining. It’s going to be close.

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