The best athletes play through pain and illness to lead their team to victory. This week will be a test for Hartley to see if he has what it takes to be the best as the dog has been fighting an infection all week that put him on antibiotics. And a brief stint in a cone of shame.
There are some really, REALLY bad games this week, which made finding five interesting games to pick the spread a difficult task. I could have picked the Miami/Savannah State game with its 60-point spread, but no one cares about Miami/Savannah State.
Fortunately, there’s just enough of what should be decent games to pick this week. Thanks to back-to-back week wins, the Humans have stolen the lead from Hartley 2-1. He desperately needs a win this win, so let’s hope for his sake that the antibiotics haven’t clouded his judgment too much.
As always, the spread is determined by 5Dimes.
Auburn vs. LSU (-17.5)
Brian: Last week I said I wasn’t going to pick against LSU so long as Zach Heismanberger keeps playing like a Hesiman candidate. LSU didn’t cover last week, but that was in fault to Mettenberger, who threw for 264 yards and three touchdowns in a 32-point win. It’ll be raining all day Saturday and during the game, which will make it tough for Mettenberger to keep those gaudy going, but I think with LSU’s running back and the return of the Tigers’ No. 1 running back and MVP assaulter Jeremy Hill, LSU will cover.
Katie: LSU, again, because I’m loyal. I will never not pick LSU. This pick was made even though I can still smell the stench of LSU’s 12-10 win at Auburn last year, an AU team that ended 3-9 and got the National Championship-winning coach fired.
Watch yourself, dog. We control your meds right now.
Michigan State vs. Notre Dame (-6.5)
Brian: Notre Dame is not good this year. But Michigan State hasn’t played anyone worth a damn this year, so they too might be not be good. With that being said, I’m picking the Spartans in this one on the basis that my elementary school mascot was also a Spartan. Don’t argue with my logic here.
Katie: Notre Dame, because MSU can only win big games in basketball, and ND is still a big game for them.
Even the dog doesn’t believe in Notre Dame.
Arizona State vs. Stanford (-7.5)
Brian: Arizona State got lucky, REALLY lucky last week with the ref snafu at the end of the game to beat Wisconsin. The Sun Devils have talent, that’s for sure, but Stanford is one of the best teams in the PAC-12 for a reason, and the Cardinal will show that on Saturday. Expect a big Stanford win.
Katie: Stanford, because ASU is going to be emotionally drained after that crazypants win vs Wisconsin last week. Surely, the officiating crew from last week won’t be there to throw the game in ASU’s favor again.
It’s a Stanford sweep!
Tennessee vs. Florida (-17)
Brian: Tennessee has been bad for a while now, but this year’s Vol team might be the worst I’ve seen. After taking a 7-0 lead last week against Oregon, Tennessee was outscored 59-0 in two and a half quarters. Florida isn’t great this year, but it’s a lot better than Tennessee. Florida covers and this is my “Bet the Farm” pick of the week.
Katie: UF, because somewhere Derek Dooley and Phil Fulmer are laughing about how terrible UT is this year.
Hartley has now picked Tennessee in every game this year. He might have a crush on Smokey.
Tulane vs. Syracuse (-14.5)
Brian: All I know about Tulane is that Joe Montana’s kid plays quarterback and the Green Wave have a 2-1 record this year. Good for them! Unlike the person to whom I’m related by marriage, I like to see Louisiana teams do well, and Tulane is no exception. I’m picking the Green Wave to beat the spread.
Katie: Syracuse, because I know absolutely nothing about either team, but I never, ever, ever cheer for Tulane. Ever.
After making my picks, I noticed I picked only favorites. However, I usually pick against ND, so this is like picking a Katie underdog.
This pick was received with a big “Nooooooo” from Katie.
So to recap:
Brian LSU Michigan State Stanford Florida Tulane
Katie LSU Notre Dame Stanford Florida Syracuse
Hartley Auburn Michigan State Stanford Tennessee Tulane