Tag Archives: betting lines

Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 6 Results


Oh, how I hate picking against the spread sometimes. ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt has a feature on bad beats on his radio show, and on Saturday night he tweeted out after the Northwestern/Ohio State game:


I think he meant beat. Yes, it was bad, and I’ll go into detail on that later. For now, the recap of Week 6.

LSU (-9.5) at Miss St


We all picked LSU to cover, and while it was close at half — with LSU up by five — the Tigers ended up blowing out Mississippi State in the second to win by 33 points and easily cover the spread. LSU is now 3-2-1 in covering the spread this season.

Ohio St (-7) at Northwestern


This was the baddest of the bad beats. Northwestern had Ohio State on the ropes. The Wildcats led late in the game until Ohio State scored with 5 minutes left to take a four-point lead. Still down by four, Northwestern tried a last-second attempt for a touchdown and fumbled the ball in its own end zone, which Ohio State picked up to score a touchdown of its own, win by 10 points and beat the spread.

Here’s the video:

I was the only one to pick Northwestern, and I got screwed big time. This is why I don’t put money on bets against the spread.

Oregon (-38.5) at Colorado


Although 38.5 points is a lot, this was my “Bet the Farm” pick of the week, and I’m happy to announce that after two weeks of getting the “Bet the Farm” picks wrong, I’m happy to announce I got this one right. Oregon ended up winning by 41 points.

Hartley also got it right, while Katie blew it and picked Colorado.

Ole Miss (-3) at Auburn


Katie’s Ole Miss hate earned her a victory as Auburn defeated theRebels and beat the spread. Hartley and I put too much trust in Ole Miss for the second straight week, and for the second straight week, we suffered a loss.

Georgia (-10.5) at Tennessee


But then I blew this one as Georgia narrowly avoided a huge upset and won by three points. I picked the Bulldogs, but Katie and Hartley got it right by going with Tennessee.

For the week, Hartley finished an astonishing 4-1 for 80 percent. I went 2-3 and Katie went 4-1, giving the humans a record of 6-4, or 60 percent. Again, Hartley wins the week. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

To go back to the Northwestern game, if the Wildcats don’t fumble the ball on the final play and Ohio State doesn’t score the touchdown with no time left, Katie, Hartley and I all go 3-2 on the week. That one play cost the Humans a tie for the week. I hate Ohio State so much.

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Hartley vs. the Humans: Week 2


Hartley took an early 4-3 lead over the humans last week, but there’s still 13 more weeks of college football to go. At the dog park, Hartley will start out strong and sprint around other dogs, but a couple of minutes later, he’s on the ground in a big pile of dirt catching his breath. Let’s hope he has better stamina in sports betting than he does physical activity.

Let’s get on with the picks. As always, the betting lines are from 5Dimes.

UAB vs. LSU -34.5


Brian: I’m confident that LSU can and will score at least 35 points this week against UAB. LSU scored 37 against a much better TCU team a week ago. But I’m not-so confident LSU can shutout UAB’s offense, which scored 31 points last week, albeit against Troy. I say LSU will score 42, but UAB will get a couple of junk TDs and I’ll take UAB here.

Katie: I’m picking LSU just on faith and not logic. Don’t let me down, Tigers.


Photo Sep 05, 7 49 02 PM

That’s a bold pick for him to make in an LSU household.

South Carolina vs UGA (-3.5)


Brian: Georgia disappointed a lot of people last week, but none moreso than this guy, who cried on the radio following the Bulldogs’ loss to Clemson last week. I said last week that Georgia would run away with the game in the second half, but that didn’t happen. I clearly haven’t learned from my previous mistake because I’m going with Georgia again this week.

Katie: Sadly, I guess I’ll go with Georgia. The Bulldogs are at home and Jadeveon Clowney has too much hype and didn’t show anything impressive last week against North Carolina.


Sorry for the blurry picture

Sorry for the blurry picture.

Florida (-3) vs Miami

Brian: Florida stunk last week. Granted the Gators won 24-6, but it was against Toledo, a school with two football fans, one of those being my grandfather. Miami, meanwhile, beat up on Florida Atlantic. I’m going out on a limb here and taking the U.

Katie: Florida, easily. Miami is not good. They haven’t been good is so long and they won’t be good this week.


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Hartley and I are on the same page this week.

Notre Dame vs Michigan (-3.5)


Brian: It’s the game of two mediocre college football teams that ESPN has hyped as the future BCS champions. Notre Dame showed its true colors in January in getting beat down by Alabama, and I won’t be able to get that out of my head for a long time. Michigan takes this in the Big House.

Katie: Ugh, I hate both teams. Hate. Hate. Hate. I have not forgiven Michigan for losing to USC in the Rose Bowl in 2004 and giving those stupid Trojans a split of LSU’s national title. Notre Dame is horrible, icky and whatever other bad words you can call them. They’re the New York Yankees of college football except the Yankees have won something more recently. Notre Dame has no talent, so I’ll hold my nose and pick Michigan.


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Bold pick by the dog.

Western Kentucky vs Tennessee (-13)



Lucky charm?

Brian: Bobby Petrino’s Hilltoppers downed the SEC’s Kentucky team last week. Now Western Kentucky takes on another bad SEC team in Tennessee. Tennessee, though, will unveil its smokey gray uniforms on Saturday, so the Vols have that going for them. For that dumb reason alone, I’m taking the Vols.

Katie: Western Kentucky. Tennessee stinks, and while they might win, they won’t win by more than 13 points.


Photo Sep 05, 7 48 17 PM

Hartley is a big fan of Vols mascot Smokey.

So in summary:

Brian        UAB        Georgia              Miami              Michigan           Tennessee
Katie         LSU        Georgia              Florida             Michigan           W. Kentucky
Hartley     UAB        Georgia             Miami               Notre Dame     Tennessee

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Hartley vs. the Humans: Week 1


It’s finally football season!

That means for the next five months I am privileged to receive a lot of anger, a lot of tears, a lot of frustration and a tiny bit of celebration and happiness from the glorious sport. And I also get to bore my readers with my weekly spread picks for college football.

I did this way back in 2011 with little no success. It got boring after a while to see me pick games wrong week in and week out, so this time I employed the help of my wife and my dog to see who in this family is the top picker in college football (Putting money on Hartley would be the safe bet here).

How can a dog make a football pick you ask? For Hartley’s picks, we print out the school logo, put a dog treat on each one, and whichever treat he selects, that’s his pick. It’s simple, and is usually more effective than the humans’ methods.

So with further ado, it’s Week 1 of Hartley vs. The Humans:

LSU (-4.5) vs. TCU

LSU’s game will be in the draw every week so obvious reasons. Also as a side note, these betting lines are from the website 5Dimes.

Brian: LSU is weird in these neutral site season openers. I can see this game being a 20-point LSU win (a la 2011 vs. Oregon) or a nail-biter with LSU winning by 4 after TCU’s game-winning touchdown pass falls incomplete with no time left (a la 2010 vs. UNC). Like UNC in 2010, TCU is missing half its team with injuries or players just leaving. But like with Jordan Jefferson in 2011, LSU should be without its best offensive player in Jeremy Hill after his offseason bar fight. For my sanity, I’m going with LSU to cover, but I’m not very confident of this.

Katie: LSU will cover because, duh, it’s LSU. I’m always going to pick LSU. (You’ve got to appreciate the honesty, at least.)


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The entire house goes LSU. This is setting up for disaster.

Alabama (-20.5) vs. Virginia Tech

Brian: Bama. Last year in its season opener, the Crimson Tide destroyed a Michigan team that was a lot better than this year’s Frank Beamer team. This will be a shit show from the opening kickoff, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Alabama win by 40. This is also my “Bet the farm” pick.


Katie: Alabama. They’re too damn good.


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Whoa! He may be neutered but the dog shows he has balls picking football games.


Georgia (-2) at Clemson

Brian: The last time Georgia was in a big game season opener it embarrassed itself against Boise State. Clemson is a better team than Boise State, but it’s still Clemson. It’ll be close in the first half, but Clemson will Clemson and Georgia, which needs to do something big this year with all the offseason hype it’s received, will start the season with a big win.

Katie: Although Clemson has a winning streak against the SEC ::tear slowly rolls down her face:: Georgia has to win this game. And it’s only a two-point spread, so they have to cover.


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Hartley clearly thinks the SEC is overrated this year.


Texas A&M (-27) vs. Rice

Brian: No one will watch the first half of this game. Everyone, including me, will tune in for the second half when Johnny Manziel’s 30 minute time out is lifted and he gets to play. Assuming the game is tied at half, can Manziel score four touchdowns in the second half so the Aggies cover the spread? My bet is yes. I think he’ll come out pissed and throw for 400 yards in a half, and it’ll be a beautiful thing to see, assuming you hate defense.

Katie: Who is Texas A&M’s second string quarterback? Yeah, that’s what I thought, no one knows. Manziel will be good in the second half, but it won’t be enough to cover.


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Note: We had to switch to spaghetti halfway through Hartley’s picks because he got tired of dog treats.

Boise State at Washington (-3.5)

Brian: I know only two things about this game. This will be Washington’s first game at its upgraded stadium. Advantage: Washington. But the Huskies star tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins is suspended for the game. Advantage: Boise St. I guess I’ll pick Boise State because a player is a bigger deal that a stadium. (Yes, this was my actual thought process in this pick.)

Katie: Seriously? You chose this game for the pick? What the hell is wrong with you? Um, Washington, I guess.


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Go Huskies!

So in summary:

Brian        LSU        Alabama                Georgia               Texas A &M       Boise State
Katie         LSU        Alabama                Georgia               Rice                       Washington
Hartley     LSU        Virginia Tech      Clemson             Rice                        Washington


I’ll return Monday to recap who won Week 1. Chances are it’ll be the dog. Until then, enjoy football!

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