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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 10 — The Rebound Starts Now

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Halloween is over, which means college football in November has officially started. This is when championships are made, dreams are crushed and Brian brings respect back to his terrible betting record.

There aren’t many top games this week, as most of the elite teams are on byes for next week’s epic football weekend. Still, I tried to find some decent games that hopefully will at least be fun to watch.

As always, the point spreads are from 5Dimes.

Miami at Florida State (-22)

MiamiFSU

Brian: Florida State has looked really good recently, and Miami has looked like crap in the past couple of weeks. Florida State will win this game easily, and I think Jameis Winston continues his dominance and the Noles cover the crazy large point spread.

Katie: I’m going with Miami.  22 points are a lot, and this is going to be Miami’s BCS Championship (This was written before I saw that Miami is ranked #7.  Who knew? I’m really going with Miami now).

Hartley:

Photo Nov 01, 8 29 10 AM

Georgia (-2.5) vs. Florida

FLAUGA

betfarmBrian: It’s the battle of two disappointing SEC East teams. I lived in Georgia for the past six years before moving to Louisiana in January, and this game – no matter how good or bad these teams are – is always a big game. Georgia still has a small, outside shot at taking the SEC East title, so I’ll pick the Bulldogs to win and cover the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. “Bet the Farm” on this one.

Katie: Neither one of these teams is ranked, so this game is for bragging rights only.  I’m going with Florida here.  Maybe Mark Richt will cry after this game, too.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 01, 8 30 13 AM

Michigan at Michigan State (-6)

MichMichSt

Brian: If it’s a Big 10 game, then I give up and concede the loss. I have been dreadfully bad picking this conference’s games, including last week’s guarantee that Penn State would beat the spread and possibly upset Ohio State (Penn State lost that game 63-14). I think Michigan will be out to prove themselves after losing to Penn State a few weeks ago and the Wolverines beat the spread.

Katie: Every time I pick Michigan to win, they lose and look ugly doing so.  Every time I pick Little Brother to win, they lose.  Neither one of these teams is particularly good, and both are only ranked because this is a weird football season.  That said, I’m going to pick Michigan, because I dislike them more, and I would prefer MSU to win.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 01, 8 29 42 AM

Tulane at Florida Atlantic (-3.5)

TulaneFAU

Brian: This game has me scratching my head. Tulane is bowl eligible for the first time in years and is 4-0 in Conference USA. Florida Atlantic lost its football coach this week after it was learned he smoked weed at a party recently. But somehow the Owls are favorites? This has to be a Vegas trap, but I’m falling in and taking Tulane.

Katie: FAU.  I don’t like Tulane.

Hartley:

Photo Nov 01, 8 30 39 AM

Navy at Notre Dame (-16.5)

NDNavy

Brian: I’m still not sold on Notre Dame as a good team this season, and while Navy historically does not win against Notre Dame, I’m taking the Midshipmen to at least beat the spread.

Katie: Navy.  I don’t like Notre Dame, either. (Brian: Seriously? How the hell am I losing to her with this line of logic?!?!)

Hartley:

Photo Nov 01, 8 31 08 AM

To recap:

Brian              Florida State          Georgia          Michigan                   Tulane        Navy
Katie              Miami                       Florida            Michigan State        FAU            Navy
Hartley         Miami                       Florida            Michigan State        FAU            Navy

So Katie and Hartley picked the exact same this week, which means Hartley vs. the Humans will all come down to me. We’re doomed.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 7 Recap

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It looks like my birthday wasn’t a good enough reason for college football to reward me with some correct picks. Again, I failed to break .500 this week, and I’m starting to question whether I truly know anything about college football.

Hartley, on the other hand, continues to roll. And remember, HE IS A DOG!

To recap:

 

LSU (-7) vs Florida

LSUFlorida

LSU won this pretty handily 17-6. Some might even compare LSU to the hammer and Florida to the nail, but let’s not anger the beast with that. Katie and I both went LSU, as we are prone to do, while Hartley went Florida and lost. So far the humans are up, but that won’t last.

 

Missouri vs Georgia (-8)

MissouriUGA

Poor Georgia. They thought this was their year. They were five yard short of making the BCS title game last year and had high hopes that they would be there this year. That is, until every player on offense tore their ACLs.

Aaron Murray could only do so much as the Bulldogs got trounced by Missouri 41-26 and saw their BCS hopes carted off at Sanford Stadium. Hartley and I picked this one correctly, but Katie’s blind love of Mark Richt kept her on the losing side.

 

South Carolina (-6) vs Arkansas

SCArkansas

Yikes, I got this one very wrong. I thought the Clowney drama would distract South Carolina, but the Gamecocks rattled off 52 straight points en route to a 52-7 win. Arkansas has now lost four games in a row, which I’m not that sad over, so maybe I should learn to avoid the Razorbacks for now.

Hartley and I missed this one, but Katie picked correctly.

 

Oregon (-13.5) vs Washington

OregonWashington

Katie and I both picked Washington, and we, again, were both way wrong. The game was close for a while, and it looked like we might have a shot at this pick, but two fourth quarter Oregon touchdowns gave the Ducks a 45-24 win. Hartley was the only one to pick Oregon, much to the delight of Briantologist Kristen.

 Hartley knew what was up with the Oregon pick. #QuackQuackQuack

Nicely done.

 

Oklahoma (-13.5) vs Texas

OUTexas

God, I thought this would be an easy pick, but Big Game Bob Stoops showed once again why you can never have faith in Oklahoma. Texas, with its lame duck coach, dominated the game to win 36-20. I made this my “Bet the Farm” pick, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Katie, too, dropped this pick.

Only Hartley was bold enough to have faith in the Burnt Orange and go Texas.

 

For the week, Katie and I both went 2-3 for a combined 4-6, or 40 percent. Hartley, though, went 3-2 for 60 percent and a Week 7 win. That gives Hartley two consecutive winning weeks and a commanding 4.5-2.5 lead over the Humans. Damn.

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 7

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Happy birthday to me!
Saturday marks 30 years since I graced this planet with my presence, and all I want to celebrate the big milestone is a good week picking college football spreads. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, right?
So here goes…
LSU (-7) vs Florida
LSUFlorida
Brian: LSU’s offense is really, really good. Florida’s defense is really, really good.
LSU’s defense is really, really bad. Florida’s offense is really, really bad.
Something has to give here, and since it’s my birthday, I say LSU rolls.
Katie: LSU. 
Hartley:
Photo Oct 10, 11 03 20 PM
 What a dick
Missouri vs Georgia (-8)
MissouriUGA
Brian: I just found out that Missouri is ranked and is undefeated this year. I had no idea the SEC East Tigers were that good. I also have no idea who Georgia is going to put on the field Saturday as its entire offensive skill corps is injured. Missouri wins and ends Georgia’s national title hopes, or at worst beats the spread.
Katie: It bothers me that this pick gives me pause, because one of the highest ranked SEC teams should not be at risk to lose to Missouri.  That said, Georgia is due to poop their pants any game now because Mark Richt, but I’m going to go with UGA anyway.  I’m still not happy Missouri is in the SEC — go away!
Hartley:
 Photo Oct 10, 11 05 09 PM
South Carolina (-6) vs Arkansas
SCArkansas
Brian: After last week, the big question in college football is will Jadaveon Clowney play or not? It should be, who cares if he plays or not?
Clowney, while having the best name in college football, is overrated, and he has done nothing this season to deserve the hype he’s gotten. Arkansas beats the spread.
Katie: I’m going with South Carolina, for no other reason than I can’t name a single player on Arkansas’ team right now, and I”m too lazy to look them up.
Hartley: Photo Oct 10, 11 05 43 PM
Oregon (-13.5) vs Washington
OregonWashington
Brian: ESPN’s College Gameday will be in Seattle for this matchup, giving the Huskies some more motivation to upset the Ducks. But Oregon is arguably the best team is college football. I’m picking Oregon to win, but Washington to beat the spread.
Katie: I‘m going with Washington.  Not sure why.  Just have a feeling.
Hartley: (A lot of people ask us how Hartley makes his pick. Do we assist or push him more to one side? No, we put a treat on each piece of paper at the same time, let him go and he picks whichever team he wants. We filled it so people can see we have no influence over which team Hartley picks.)

Oklahoma (-13.5) vs Texas
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Brian: Wow, that’s three straight underdog picks I made. For this game, though, it won’t even be close. Despite its last two weeks with victories (although one should have been a loss if not for poor officiating), Texas is still a Dumpster fire. The Sooners will take an early lead, and because it’s the Red River Rivalry, Bob Stoops won’t let up on the gas. OU wins big, by at least 28 points, and this is my “Bet the Farm” pick of the week.
betfarm
Happy birthday to me?
Katie: Oklahoma. If Texas loses by as many points as I think they will, does Mack Brown have a job on Monday?  I’m thinking no. I will personally volunteer to pack Nick Saban’s bags to get him out of the SEC.
Hartley: Photo Oct 10, 11 02 27 PM
So to recap:
Brian         LSU               Missouri            Arkansas                      Washington          Oklahoma
Katie         LSU               Georgia              South Carolina          Washington          Oklahoma
Hartley     Florida         Missouri           Arkansas                      Oregon                     Texas

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 6

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No, I’m not going to write a witty intro about the government shutdown because everyone is tired of hearing about politicians who won’t do their job. I will say, though, that if the federal government would just put its money into betting with the dog, America would have enough cash to pay off the federal deficit and buy healthcare for the world. Just something to consider, D.C.

Now, on to this week’s picks, where there aren’t as many intriguing games as last week, but enough to get you excited. As always, the spread is courtesy of 5Dimes.

 

LSU (-9.5) at Miss St

LSUMissSt

Brian: The weather is going to be really nasty on Saturday night in Mississippi as the first real tropical storm of the season makes its way to land. The rain will make it difficult to throw the ball — giving an edge maybe to Mississippi State — but it also rained during the LSU/Auburn game, and the LSU offense was fine. I’ll pick LSU to cover.

Katie: I’m picking LSU.  I think I’ve already made that clear.  Moving on…

Hartley:

Photo Oct 03, 8 26 56 PM

 

Ohio St (-7) at Northwestern

OSUnorthwestern

Brian: I applied to Northwestern twice for college, once as an undergraduate and once for graduate school. I was rejected both times; well, I was put on the waiting list for undergraduate, which I turned down, so maybe that’s a push. Either way, Northwestern doesn’t want me, but I have a battered wife syndrome with the Wildcats; I keep going back and pulling for them. I’ll pull for them this time, too, and say Pat Fitzgerald and Northwestern beat the spread.

Katie: I think a ranked Northwestern team is to the B1G what a ranked Ole Miss team is to the SEC.  It’s adorable to see their fans get all excited and start allowing themselves to believe that this might actually be their year, but eventually those dreams of greatness are crushed when the teams play with the Big Boys.  Ohio State is one of the Big Boys.  Like Ole Miss did last week, I expect Northwestern to come back down to reality after getting crushed on Saturday by Ohio State.

Hartley: 

Photo Oct 03, 8 29 12 PM

 

Oregon (-38.5) at Colorado

Oregoncolorado

Brian: Last week I thought there was no way Oklahoma State wouldn’t cover the spread against West Virginia, and I was dead wrong. This week, I say there’s no way Oregon doesn’t cover the spread — even if that means the Ducks need a 39-point win — and it’s my “Bet the Farm” pick of the week. Sorry, Kristen and any Duck fans reading this.

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Katie: Oregon is good. I know nothing about Colorado, but historically they’re not good.  That being said, 38.5 points is a big spread.  Once Oregon gets a healthy lead, they’ll probably pull an LSU v Kent State move and put in the second (or third) string.  So I’m picking Colorado to lose badly but still beat the spread.

Hartley:

Photo Oct 03, 8 27 41 PM

 

Ole Miss (-3) at Auburn

OleMissAuburn

Brian: Ole Miss has yet to score a touchdown in the state of Alabama this year after the Rebels fell 26-0 last week against Alabama. Ole Miss won’t be shut out again this week, and I think Hugh Freeze will get his team to forget about last week and defeat Auburn at Jordan Hare.

Katie: Ole Miss got its heart (and probably other body parts) broken in last week’s loss to Alabama.  I’m expecting them to play poorly and Auburn to be motivated to play well at home.  I’m going with Auburn to beat a sad Ole Miss team.  At least their fans will have the “Book of Manning” to remind them of when they were semi-relevant.

Hartley:

Photo Oct 03, 8 30 06 PM

 

Georgia (-10.5) at Tennessee

GeorgiaTennessee

Brian: Speaking of trying to forget about last week… I’m expecting a big downer from Georgia after winning the national title, er, a game against LSU last week as the Bulldogs go to Neyland. Still, Tennessee is garbage and the Vols will get crushed by at least three touchdowns.

Katie: This one is giving me trouble.  On one hand, Tennessee couldn’t even beat South Alabama last week by 10 points.  On the other, I expect the LSU effect will be in full force on Saturday and will cause Georgia to be a little banged up and a lot uninspired by this unimpressive Tennessee team.  I’m going to pick UT to lose but beat the spread.

Hartley:

Photo Oct 03, 8 28 33 PM

 

 

And to recap…

Brian           LSU            Northwestern    Oregon             Ole Miss        Georgia
Katie           LSU            Ohio State            Colorado        Auburn          Tennessee
Hartley      LSU            Ohio State            Oregon            Ole Miss         Tennessee

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Hartley vs. The Humans: Week 4 Results

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What a disaster Week 4 was for college football. Almost as big a disaster as me updating Hartley vs. The Humans on Mondays like I try to do.

Week 4 featured a host of nail-biters, such as Ohio State’s 76-0 squeak past Florida A&M, Louisville’s 72-0 close call with Florida International and Miami’s 77-0 gutsy win against Savannah State. I realize teams can’t play good competition every week – LSU has yet to play a top-level team this year, though that will change this week – and there are some scheduling drops that force teams to pick up these cupcake games, but damn, Week 4 was a bit much.

For the Humans, at least. Hartley thoroughly enjoyed it. After posting a sub-.500 record last week, he stormed to 4-1 to take Week 4 and even the series at 2-2. Here’s the recap:

Auburn vs. LSU (-17.5)

LSUAU

Hartley was the only creature to pick Auburn, and after the first half, it looked like that would bite him on the butt as LSU led 21-0. Instead, Auburn came back to cover the spread in a 35-21 loss. Hartley was also fortunate with this game in that he was not actually there, out in the rain, like his two stupid, human relatives.

 

Michigan State vs. Notre Dame (-6.5)

NotreDameMichSt

Hartley and I both picked the Spartans in this matchup, and while Notre Dame won, the score of 17-13 was not enough to cover the spread for the Irish. I didn’t watch a second of this game so I have nothing more to add except my belief that Notre Dame is not good this season still holds up.

 

Arizona State vs. Stanford (-7.5)

StanfordASU

This one was easy to pick. Everyone called for a big Stanford win, which the Cardinal was able to get with a 42-28 win against Arizona State.

 

Tennessee vs. Florida (-17)

FloridaTenn

This was my “Bet the Farm” pick of the week. Katie and I both thought Florida would destroy the Vols, but thanks to Gators quarterback Jeff Driskel breaking his ankle, the Vols were able to get just enough offense to beat the spread in a 31-17 loss. Hartley called that and is 2-1 when picking Tennessee this year. My “Bet the Farm” pick record is also at 2-1 now.

 

Tulane vs. Syracuse (-14.5)

syracusetulane

Katie was the only one to pick this game correctly, mainly because she really, really hates Tulane. Hartley and I went with the Green Wave, but Syracuse destroyed them 52-17.

 

In total this week, Hartley went an astounding 4-1 (80%), while Katie and I both went 2-3 to give the Humans a 4-6 record (40%). Ouch. That puts Hartley at 13-7 this year, and I can’t repeat this enough, HE’S A DOG!

Week 5 will have better games as there are a handful of top-25 matchups, most notably LSU/Georgia.

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