Douche of the Week: The Name’s Danger, Carlos Danger

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Being a douche isn’t a 100 percent bad thing. These terrible people bring a lot of good into this world, either by people making fun of them or by their own stupidity. So this week Briantology recognizes this week’s douches who helped make the world a better place somehow. Take a bow.

Third Place: Robin #Thicke

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I don’t know much, if anything, about Robin Thicke, so I can’t really say for certain if he is a douche or not. Though the uncensored version of his “Blurred Lines” video has blogs like Jezebel declaring him guilty of douche accusations, and I tend not to argue with those evil, spiteful bitches on Jezebel.

thirdBut “Blurred Lines,” the edited version or not, has spawned some fantastic spoofs that are arguably better than the original (except for the boobies part). I watched 10 spoof videos the other night back-to-back, and while Katie maybe was going deaf, maybe was going blind by hearing 20 minutes of the same song, we both cracked up at some of the videos, especially the Jimmy Kimmell version.

Kimmel is no stranger to great music video spoofs as his classic “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” still is one of my favorite late night TV moments.

A close second is The Pet Collective’s parody “Furred Lines.” LOOK AT THE PUPPIES!!!!

I literally could watch these all day, but there are two more awards to hand out.

 Second Place: The Royal Baby

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Is it wrong to proclaim a 5-day-old as Douche of the Week runner-up? Maybe there should be an age requirement for this prestigious award. Plus it’s not like Prince George has done anything to earn any sort of recognition. But that’s where the Internet comes in.second

I’m no reddit expert or even seasoned veteran. I go on there occasionally when I’m bored at work and browse through the r/aww pictures. But with the Royal Baby’s birth this week, redditors powered up their Photoshop and got to work on some great baby farks.

Obvious to those who know my love of the “Lion King,” my favorite is clearly this one:

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but there are other great ones around, too.

So while the Royal Baby created a media frenzy, he also put some good Photoshop skills to work.

First Place: Anthony Weiner 

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Anthony Weiner is no stranger to Briantology’s Douche of the Week award. In fact, he was in the inaugural class back in 2011 after his first sexting scandal. After he resigned from Congress, we declared victory over the disgraced Representative, but like a phoenix rising from the ashes, dick pics couldn’t keep Weiner down the first time.

firstBut the current New York City mayoral candidate got caught with his pants down and with iMessage up as more sexting scandals surfaced. Yes, only Weiner could make America forget about Geraldo’s disgusting selfie. But Briantology comes not to bury Weiner, but to praise him. The evil that men do is remembered after their deaths, but the good is often buried with him. And awesome names like Carlos Danger will live in infamy.

Carlos Danger is the pseudonym Weiner used in his latest sexting scandal, and that name has generated a buzz around the Internet as everyone is generating their own sexting alias (if you get a pic from Ernesto Calamity, that’s from me. You’re welcome).

People are sharing their names on Facebook and Twitter, which sort of ruins the anonymity of a pseudonym. But it brought some humor to the week, so thank you, Anthony Weiner Carlos Danger. You are the first repeat Douche of the Week. Keep your head up and smile for the camera!

1 Comment

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One response to “Douche of the Week: The Name’s Danger, Carlos Danger

  1. My name is “Esteban Risk.” Clearly, we need to form a lucha libre tag team together.

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